.HATE it!.

"Assalammualaikum
Kaifa Ha Lu Kum?"

Tomorrow is 'Hari Raya Aidilfitri', the day many have been awaiting for. Are you all excited? I bet you are. Can't wait to put on that new kebaya and show off that new glittery clutch bag?? Every single one of you is excited I guess. I personally feel you only deserve tomorrow only if you have been fasting. "So siapa-siapa yang tak berpuasa di bulan Ramadhan ini, tanpa alasan yang munasabah, pandai-pandailah rilek one corner dan jangan sertai dalam perayaan ini!!" Everyone is EXCITED, except for me. Tomorrow is already 'D' Day and let's just say that the COLD WAR is still on, between mak and ayah. How am I suppose to enjoy the day when my parents ain't talking to each other? Great. Just great. Every year, every single year, it's like this. Maybe, some syaitans got early dismissal and chose to land on my dad. Hahaha. The hantu raya is here, but I hope it's not here to stay, for long.

I mean no disrespect for my father, but I just got to let some things out. This is my diary afterall. Things that are mentioned here, will sometimes be really personal, so I appreciate it if you read and keep mum about it. Just keep it to yourself. No point telling others. Alright? And one thing about me, I don't like going all emotional publicly, so you don't have to console me on my issues the next time you meet me. I will be fine. Thanks for the concern anyway.

I am not a happy girl. Really, I am not. Serious. If you do see me smiling, these days, just know that it's all an act. I am putting on a brave front. But actually, I'm tearing inside. You people out there, be thankful with what you've got. Cherish the love your parents give you. Teens nowadays usually convert the love and concern parents give for restriction on their freedom. You've got it all wrong.

---> Hei...! What the heck am I blabbering about here??

I am depressed. So depressed. I am sad. So, so sad.

"Ya Allah yang Maha Pengasih lagi Maha Penyayang, dengarlah rintihan hambaMu yang hina ini. Perbaikilah keadaan di dalam keluargaku. Biarlah perhubungan kekeluargaan ini, kekal hingga ke ahkirnya. Berikanlah hambamu ini peluang untuk merasai kasih sayang yang sejati. Ya Allah, kurniakanlahku sahabat-sahabat yang setia, yang akan mengharungi hari-hari depan denganku. Ya Rahman, Ya Rahim, yang lebih mengetahui isi hatiku, berikanlahku kekuatan dan ketabahan dalam menghadapi dugaan-dugaanmu. Ya Allah, makbulkanlah doaku, sesungguhnya hamba mu ini kerdil lagi hina. Amin."

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